Confession: I really messed up this weekend. It is not an easy thing to admit. But when I consider that I have walked away from God and His plans for me, I really have no choice. The peace I was living in was removed. I no longer felt His guidance (He didn't leave, He is always with us). I just had made a very wrong choice and was suffering the consequences of my sin.
What happened? I had not really been living in peace like I thought. I had been holding onto negative thoughts and feelings. When they could not be contained any more, they were let loose. And my husband was right there in the line of fire. He was gentle and loving, as he should be, as understanding as possible. But he was also there to quickly point out that I had sinned and was no longer walking in a right relationship with him or God.
So, I of course felt bad and quickly confessed what I had done as sin. But the consequences of my mistake still came. That night, by no coincidence, I developed symptoms of strep throat. Sinning in my words had opened a doorway for Satan to enter and inflict his pain into my life. In this case, as a direct result of words not used correctly, I was given a sickness in my throat.
Today, three days later, I have received medical attention, am on medicine, and am feeling better. But more importantly the peace has been restored. I am back in a right relationship with my husband and with God. Hopefully this lesson will be the last time I go around this mountain.
I you feel like things are not quite right, check all areas. Are you holding onto bitterness, resentment, anger, or jealously? Better get rid of them fast! They only grow and will develop bad attitudes, words, and will most likely lead you into sin. BUT, He is always faithful. He provided me a way out, I just didn't take it. In fact, He provided two ways out, which I choose to ignore both times. Trust in God to always lead and guide your thoughts and words. Give Him your thoughts that are not pleasing to Him. We have His power to not think on things that are not "lovely, honorable, just, right, and good". Pray for a watch to be placed over your mind and mouth. It really is necessary to having a right relationship with Him.
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